Mom, Don't Make THIS Mistake

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Those words can be a comforting for parents - or very frustrating! Parents aren’t pre-programmed to know how to raise kids. So they will rely strictly on their instincts. They don’t ask for help or learn much about parenting.  Since most of us aren’t really equipped to know what to do in every situation that we face as parents, making mistakes is pretty common. One mistake many parents make is to assume a problem will get fixed by itself. They endure months and months of frustrating battles and behavior problems without seeking a real solution. So, whether it is your baby’s failure to sleep or a teen’s temper tantrums, there are books and professionals who can help you find a way that will fix those problems. Dr. John Rosemond, Dr. Kevin Leman, Dr. James Dobson are just a few Christian experts who offer wise and real solutions to your parenting problems. The most real solution is to get help!

Home Training

Your children need you for many things as you raise and ready them to launch into their adult lives. Giving them correction and discipline is one of a parent’s responsibilities. There are good and effective ways to discipline children. God’s Word has some things to say about this part of parenting. Colossians 3:21 teaches that fathers should not discourage, or “embitter” (NIV) their children. The Message says it this way: “Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits.” The New Living Version says “Do not be so hard on your children that they will give up trying to do what is right.” It’s a difficult balance to correct and discipline children and still maintain a relationship that encourages them. There are two vital keys to maintaining this balance. 1) Let your child know what your expectations are. Be very clear about the boundaries of acceptable behavior. 2) Give fair and consistent consequences when those boundaries are crossed.
There are excellent parenting books at your Christian book store. Some may be available in your church’s library. The Christian parenting experts in these resources will give you suggestions about consequences. Remember to deliver all discipline with firmness but with caring kindness.  This environment will give your child a loving, secure home base that they can one day, leave with confidence, knowing all that you have taught them.

Take Action: Write down a specific behavior you would like your child to do or change. Think and pray about how you will teach the appropriate behavior and what consequences will be the result of their misbehavior. Approach your discipline plan with firmness as well as care and love.

Wisdom from the Word:  “Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits.”

Faith in Your Family - Praying Parents

The blonde curls bobbed with each bounce of his tiny head. He was praying hard. A simple, sweet, genuine prayer. Hearing his earnest conversation, I thought, how tender it is to hear a little child pray! It’s a reminder to us how sweet and sincere prayer can be. As simple as a child’s prayer may be, we shouldn’t underestimate a little one’s faith. Jesus certainly didn't underestimate the faith of children. In fact, in Mark 10, Jesus instructed his disciples to allow little children to come see Him and said that "The Kingdom of God belongs to them."  Perhaps children's tender hearts are touched deeply by prayers. And in their naïve trusting way, they may understand a more innocent faith. As parents, praying for our child accesses a vital spiritual tool.  Never, ever underestimate the power that you have in leading your child into a relationship with Jesus.  Mom, you can do that by praying for and with your children. Kneel with them beside their bed as they prepare to sleep. Ask for God's blessing on his life. You can also send them off to school in the morning with a family prayer time. And just remember this: God loves your child - even more than you.

Take Action: Pray for your children all during the day, specifically asking God to intercede in their lives, whether it is to help them do well on a test or to handle a relationship with a friend. 

Wisdom from the Word: 
 "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.” Psalm 32:8

“I know, 0 LORD, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps.” Jeremiah 10:23

The Heart of Your Family at Home

Who are you – at home?  Really, who do your kids see? The person that YOU want them to see or do they see the real you? Perhaps one of the reasons that it is hard for us to be ourselves with our children is that we are very aware that we are setting the example in behavior and words that our kids are to follow. Family research tells us that children really do learn from the example that their parents give them. Focus on the Family research reported that teenagers said they watched certain movies and television shows because it was what their parents watched. And that can be a good thing - or not. One mom that I know watches hours of the Andy Griffith show with her two kids. They are not crazy about the show -- but they are certainly crazy about their mom. And because she spends so much time with them, they indulge her and watch her favorite show with her. As your child’s parent you have a tremendous influence on what kind of things your family will be entertained by. What music, tv shows, movies you like will influence your children’s choices. If you make good choices, it is much more likely that your kids will too. We show our children how to be wise about what is healthy to watch and listen to when we make wise choices ourselves. Remember YOUR kids are always watching YOU.

Take Action: Sit down with your kids one night and look through the tv guide and decide what shows are best to watch and which ones are good influences. Make a tv-viewing program plan and stick with it.

Wisdom from the Word:

“The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”                                  I Samuel 6:7

Heart of Your Family -Your Marriage

How you feeling?

Have you had the flu or a cold lately?  If you are sick, feeling loving towards your husband is sometimes the last thing on your mind. You just don’t feel good. God’s Word speaks in ways that let you know love is so much more than a feeling. You’ve heard it from others though that love isn’t love - if you don’t have that “lovin’ feeling”. But the thing is love is always more about our actions and attitudes than about our feelings. Long-time married folks, who are definitely the wiser among us about long-time love, will say that there were many times in their 30 or 40 or 50-year marriages that they didn’t FEEL like they loved their spouse – but because of the commitment that they had made to each other, they knew that if they behaved and acted as if they did, their relationship would be what it needed to be.  I Corinthians 13, which is known as the love chapter in the Bible, gives many behaviors to describe what love it. Love is kindness, patience and hopeful  are a few descriptive. Maybe if things aren’t going so well in your relationship you will practice kindness or  patience. There is hope and definitely more joy in a marriage when the virtues of love are practiced. It’s because doing these things makes your marriage healthier – and holier.  Work on your attitude- and even if you don’t feel like it - act loving. And experience why God tell us that love – well, here I’ll just let Him tell you:   “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” I Corinthians 13:13

Take Action: Start today with a kinder word for your husband and end your day with a kind word for him also. Practice that small virtue to have a more loving marriage

Wisdom from the Word:

 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” I Corinthians 13:4-8

Blessing Your Marriage

"Marriage should be honored by all." Hebrews 13:4

Does your marriage matter? Matter to who? Well, does your marriage matter to your friends? To your church family? Does your marriage matter to your parents? What about – does your marriage matter to your children? And most importantly, does your marriage matter to you? When things or people or anything matters to us, we tend to behave in ways that prove that is so.  If you were to list on a scale of 1-5, your top priorities in your life, where would your marriage be on that list?  Do you do things regularly that bless your marriage- grow your relationship – improve the health of your marriage?  Today, what could you say to your husband that will let him know that he is loved by you?  Can you show energy and attention to them?  Your  marriage matters to God even more than it matters to you! He is the creator of marriage and He says that marriage is good for you. It is good for the family of God and it is good for your children.
How do you show God that your marriage matters?

Take Action: Begin today to pray for husband. Ask God’s blessing on his safety, for protection over his job, for his spiritual walk.

Wisdom from the Word:
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:9-12

Faith in Your Family

Psalm 150:1-6“….Let everything that lives sing praises to the Lord”

I guarantee that your day is so busy it could spin out of control very fast. And before you know it, you are to the end of it!  Before you even realize it, there will be little if any time to focus even a few moments on God. Everyday life is so super-scheduled and cram-packed with so many demands, that the day's activities of work, school, children, and family activities will crowd out even the best intentions. And for most of us, we do intend to create special moments with our kids to focus on God. The best place to do that is NOT in just especially focused events, but -- in the EVERYDAY natural moments of our lives. What a great place to make your child aware and in awe of God's power and presence! The chill of winter, the beginning of spring, the warm slip into summer and the feeling of fall are all natural times to focus your child's attention on God's plan for the change of seasons. Conversations can focus on "Who makes the flowers to grow after winter? Who blesses us with warm sunshine and makes the green grass and trees?" These simple, yet meaningful conversations put our focus back on the God of our Creation. It's simple. And teachable.  

Faith in Action: Have you read your Bible today? Did you begin your day with prayer? Spend some time with your child today praising God. 

Psalm 150:1-6 “….Let everything that lives sing praises to the Lord”