This Battle is Not in Our Minds

Do you ever worry about what effect the culture is having on your children? The culture with all its smart-alecky joking, cynical jibes, dumbing-down, crazy over-the-top zaniness?  Do you worry that your child is one day going to turn away from all you have taught them and worked so hard to instill in them and adopt that way of acting?

In a world where permissive behavior is more the norm than not and tolerance is the word of the day, being conservative, or even moderate, living moral, striving to be Christ-like, means you look rather odd and you are pretty much marching out of step by social rules.  In response, some parents have opted out of the job of responsibly raising their children. It appears they are merely living life alongside their kids without giving any real guidance, training or discipline.

If you are one of those parents who still believe that children need to behave respectfully, use good manners, and treat others with kindness, I encourage you to keep on keeping on. You have a guidebook ready. It’s probably sitting somewhere close to you right now.  God’s Word is powerful and the real deal. Take strength from it. Get direction from it. “My word that goes out from my mouth - will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”(Isaiah 10:11)

When it seems everyone around you are losing their heads, keep yours in the game. Read your Bible and discover encouragement, wise guidance, and a God who is on your side.  It is a must-read for parents who want to raise respectful, morally responsible, spiritually healthy children.  Moms, “gird your loins” or put on your armor, as in Ephesians 6.

“Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” (v.11) Remember, as mamas, our battle is not against the culture and the crazy folks who believe its lies.  “Our struggle is against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (v. 12)

So let’s be ready to stand our  ground! “And after you have done everything, to stand firm.”  (v. 14)

With this as a battle plan, you will be ready, Mom, “to take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”  (v. 17)

Let’s be ready for this battle for the hearts, minds and souls of our children. Moms, let’s fight back against a culture that would love for us to give up and accept that there is nothing we as Christians can do to stop it. Let’s do everything we can to lead the next generation into a life of grace and godly living.  

And then... Are you ready for this one? “You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.” (Isaiah 55:12) 

On some days, I could use a little applause. Even from a tree.

Caring for Your Kid's Parent

If you are a single parent, you join this country's 10 million moms or dads who are raising children alone. That's a huge number of folks! But that isn't very comforting or useful when you're the only parent available at 3:00 in the morning to tend to a fussy toddler or worry over a tardy teen. Those situations accentuate what you experience most of your nights and days: you are alone. It is the opinion of many family educators and counselors, that single parents have the toughest job in the world. Parenting with the teamwork of a supportive spouse is a hard job, but doing the work all alone is guaranteed to be stress-filled and absolutely never-ending. There is always so much work to be done. You must work to provide an income - for housing, food, insurance, transportation, etc. And then there's your home and family life: you cook, clean, do laundry and take care of your child's needs for school, sports, friends, and other activities. Where does a single parent find the luxury time to replenish drained energy?

First of all, Mom, change your thinking: it is not a luxury. Having time to recharge yourself is an absolute necessity. It may be useful to know that even Jesus took time away from the busy-ness of preaching, teaching, healing and saving folks. One particular stressful event (and let's face it -Jesus had many) the Bible records he went away by himself, "when Jesus had heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place" (Matthew 14:13). Luke 5 tells us that Jesus withdrew often from his work just to pray! No one knew more about how much work there was to do then Jesus, and yet he also knew the importance of refilling his spirit, resting his body and mind, and renewing his soul.

As single parents you have the most important job of all - raising your kiddos - on your shoulders. You must not jeopardize the success of this job to create a healthy, happy, and God-centered child. And you will run aground if you run out of what you need to do this job. The solution: find a friend to help you with your errands, chores and childcare needs. Every single parent needs at least one adult who can be involved in their life. Ask a parent, a neighbor, a church friend, a pastor, youth minister - someone to partner with you and become part of your team! Join an adult class at your church, or a parenting support group, or a single's ministry to find the adult care you need. And remember: be faithful to your own prayer and Bible study time.

Take care of yourself. You are your kids most important person SO, you are too important to neglect.

A Wild and Wacky, Wonderful Week

Koolaid, cookies, sticky hands and paste. Screaming voices singing: “I've Got the JOY, JOY, JOY, JOY Down in My Heart”  What is this phenomena?  If you can say VBS, faster than the blink of an eye, you win the BEST Screamer Award today! Vacation Bible School and summer go together like, baseball and popcorn. VBS is when churches’ children’s ministries gear up for a wild, wonderful, wacky and fun week!!!! 

Are your kids going?  Be sure your child has this fun adventure on the summer calendar. One or dozens of local churches will be hosting kids of all ages, and even some adults, for this special time of wrapping God's stories around a whole lot of adventurous zaniness.  There is usually just a short time frame during the day or evening so even the most timid child can usually handle it. It can be one unique way for your family to connect with other families.  It's a great way to know the moms and dads of your child’s friends during this casual event at church.  

Most of us parents want our kids summer time to be filled with lots of fun, but also meaningful experiences. That is one thing that Vacation Bible School teachers know how to do. These "saints above all saints", namely those teachers who love hanging out with kiddos, will involve your child in learning about making wise choices, building good character, and helping others while getting to be loud, busy and screamy!

Sounds like a good place for a kid to be. 

Just Sayin'

Have you ever heard this said, "Where in the world did that child learn to act that way?"  It's an inescapable truth. Children learn all kinds of behavior every day in their own homes from their parents. This is a pretty simple truth: when parents are doing their jobs well, children learn to behave well.  Living in a family is how children learn the basics of life and the most important lessons about relationships, about family, about marriage. God’s plan for children is they learn all of life’s important lessons from dad and mom. Probably one of the most quoted Bible verses is Proverbs 22:6. “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (RSV).  God's plan is that children would receive the valuable tools they need to become a healthy adult from their own parents. In her home, a daughter learns how a wife acts in a marriage. A son learns how a husband treats a wife by observing how his parents’ marriage works. It goes without saying, but here we go saying it: training is not exclusively a good thing. Daily life can be full of stressful situations. Stress can bring out some pretty awful behavior. The emotional break and whatever that looks like when you experience a disappointment or difficult situation will have an effect on your child. As tough as times can be, we must remember as parents there are younger eyes watching us. There’s a pretty good chance they will imitate at some point what they see us do. Being a good example, teaching valuable skills, modeling healthy behaviors are really high standards. It's a good thing that God equips us through the Holy Spirit to do more than we think we can do.  When we work with the Spirit of God to manage our emotions and behavior, the amazing results will show up in our children. Someone may even say "That boy acts just like his daddy," or "She is the exact copy of her mom." And that will be a good thing.    

For more articles on topics parents may find helpful, interesting and encouraging, check out www.hearttohomeministry.org

Clear It Up!

 

The BIG 3: Resentment. Frustration. Anger. Emotions that can be fairly common in a 24/7 relationship, i.e. married life. For most of us “normal” folks, feeling bad about our spouse ranks way down at the bottom of the list of fun things to do in life right along with getting our wisdom teeth cut out.  As much as we truly hate to feel hateful about our husband or wife, those yucky feelings often crop up and feel like – well, yuck.  A lot of those resentful, frustrating feelings come from simple misunderstandings. Misunderstandings come out of a situation where we make a faulty assumption without first having all the information. It’s a judgment call – often a critical judgment call - because we have pre-determined something about someone without having all the facts. Misunderstandings happen in the most caring relationships. Jesus had something to say about a resentful and judging attitude. He makes his position pretty clear. “Don’t judge others, and you will not be judged. Don’t accuse others of being guilty, and you will not be accused of being guilty. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (Luke 6:37)

So clear up those misunderstandings BEFORE they turn into resentments. Most situations that we are concerned about have simple explanations. Example: "You said that you were going to load the dishwasher before you left for work this morning. What happened?"  When said with a friendly tone, you may get this answer, "Sorry, hon, I got a phone call from work and had to get in earlier than I thought for that meeting with the district manager. I can take care of that now."  Speak up and clear up what's troubling you.  And get a whole lot more fun out of life.

Under the Weather in Your Step-Family?

Have you been feeling a little under the weather? Allergies or colds kicking in? If you're like me, when not feeling well you'll head over to the doctor's office.  You will report your symptoms to this professional so you can get the necessary medicine to begin to recover. Illnesses have a variety of symptoms and there are specific medicines for any and all of them. Knowing the right ones to take that will work can be a tough call.

People in a second marriage may be seeing some symptoms that this blended family is not doing so well.  You may realize the health of your step- family needs some kind of intervention. Some of your symptoms could be: conflict with one of your stepchildren, tension between you and your spouse over discipline issues,  painful adjustments a child is having l living with new siblings. If these are your symptoms, please don't get so overwhelmed that you decide to just give up. Second marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages and one of the reasons is because of problems over managing the children. It is difficult to join two already-formed families together. Please have confidence in this: there is hope for your family. If you commit to working on strengthening your marriage, you can find solutions that will work.

Seek those solutions through the help of a professional family counselor. Just as you make that doctor's appointment to find the appropriate meds when you are not physically well, go to a professional to find out why your family isn't healthy right now. Then, you can get the solutions to making all of you feel much better. And remember, the Great Physician is always just a prayer away.

What's the Deal with Traditions?

Family traditions are important. They give us something to hold on to. They give children a sense of place -- a home base. When a family builds their activities around their own traditions they are saying this is important to us. Traditions say to your children, that we have things in our family that we want to pass on to the next generation. Sometimes it is a relief when there is a certain way of doing something. When you have a tradition, it's not necessary to decide every single action  or to have to work to plan every single activity. Those decisions and that work have already been done. Traditions give us a certain pattern and routine to follow. What are some traditions that are important to your family? Maybe it is a certain way that you do your summer vacation or a holiday, like Thanksgiving or Christmas. Or you may have a particular ritual or activity that you do together as a family every Saturday morning. Dad may get donuts for the family or you all put together a special pancake breakfast. Whatever it is, know that your kids really do enjoy, cherish and look forward to your family's traditions. Traditions act as a ceremony or a marker that tells your children this is WHO WE ARE. These traditional family activities let your children know that "Our family is special and this is what we do together." In our rapidly changing, fast-paced world, traditions and rituals hold families together and give children stability and a true sense of family security. Just as a regular Sunday dinner together after church can become special, traditions can give your family a reason to be together. And that is a tradition that will last.