Bringing Baby Home

We did it three times. It was hard. It was fun. We survived.

If you're expecting a baby for the first time, life will never be the same after the arrival home - babe in arms.I can personally testify that this is change with a capital "C"! New parents are usually blissfully unaware of how much their new little one will effect their lives - we certainly were. There's the lack of sleep which can put a damper on almost everything. And the lack of available time and  pure exhaustion almost certainly contributes to a lack of desire for intimacy. These are challenges even the healthiest marriages face. 

Marriage experts say that many couples while experiencing deep joy over their infant's arrival may also have their greatest marital problems during their baby’s first year of life.  This means that couples must work hard to keep the marriage happy and healthy. What's recommended? After baby arrives safe and sound, plan specific  ways to work on your marriage relationship. Here are a few ideas.

1. Read a marriage book together.

2. See a Christian counselor for help with your communication.

3. Very important: Get away for a weekend alone within the first 3 months of your baby’s arrival.

4. Have regular date nights. You must plan to leave your baby with a sitter or grandparent for a few hours - this brief get-away allows you to spend needed time reconnecting as a couple.

Learning to be a parent is exciting, fun, and joy-filled. And stressful. Don’t allow the strain of caring for your baby to create separation between you and your spouse. Stay close. Stay caring. Stay in love. Your child will one day say "Mom and Dad, thanks for the happy home you gave me."

Books, Books, My Kingdom for Books!

Swings. Scooters. Skateboards. Treehouses. Horses and dogs. All important to almost all kids. And they were to me too when I was a youngster. But nothing. And I really do mean this. Nothing, was more important to me as a kid then my books. I read, well my mom taught me this word, voraciously. I was and am a voracious reader. Which meant pretty much anytime I was not occupied with one of the earlier-mentioned childhood past times, I had my head buried in a book. My five younger siblings didn't seem to get this PRE-occupation with literature from their older, detached, absorbed and unresponsive sister. Which I'm certain was part of the point. I not only loved immersing myself in a good story, I also had found a way to escape the invasive screamy-neediness of a huge gaggle of young kids.

But, I'm distracted. I could talk about reading all day long, when I'm not actually doing it. And for hours when I can, I am probably reading. I didn't write this to tell you that. I wanted to tell you rather that this blog is named Heart Mom Books because here I tell you about books I recommend after I read them or someone else has read them and tells me about them.

I hope you find a good read here. Since I'm a family therapist, much of what I read and recommend is about parenting, moms, kids, and families. But every once in awhile I will come across a treasure and I will recommend something different.

Like I am today.

I want to recommend - no scratch through that - I want to INSIST that you read Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts. Because if you don't you will miss a blessing - a surprise- a treasure. Ann is one of the very best writers I have ever been privileged to read. Lysa Terkeurst of Proverbs 31 Ministries says this about the book, "...[from] one of the most gifted writers I have ever read... a book that will challenge you and mess with you in the most beautiful of ways..."  I totally agree. This is a book that you will find difficult to not re-read. I just finished it today and I have already marked the specific places that I must read again. Ann's words are pictures. They are vivid and memorable. A farmer's wife, mother of six and a dedicated homeschool mom, she describes finding joys in her daily life that led to the discovery of a  relationship with God that will surprise you. It did me, anyway. Please read it. Here's the website: http://onethousandgifts.com/   Be blessed