The BIG 3: Resentment. Frustration. Anger. Emotions that can
be fairly common in a 24/7 relationship, i.e. married life. For most
of us “normal” folks, feeling bad about our spouse ranks way down at the bottom
of the list of fun things to do in life right along with getting our wisdom teeth
cut out. As much as we truly hate to
feel hateful about our husband or wife, those yucky feelings often crop up and
feel like – well, yuck. A lot of those
resentful, frustrating feelings come from simple misunderstandings.
Misunderstandings come out of a situation where we make a faulty assumption without
first having all the information. It’s a judgment call – often a critical judgment
call - because we have pre-determined something about someone without having
all the facts. Misunderstandings happen in the most caring relationships. Jesus had something to say about a resentful and judging attitude. He makes his position
pretty clear. “Don’t
judge others, and you will not be judged. Don’t accuse others of being guilty,
and you will not be accused of being guilty. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (Luke 6:37)
So clear up those misunderstandings BEFORE they turn into
resentments. Most situations that we are concerned about have simple
explanations. Example: "You said that you were going to load the
dishwasher before you left for work this morning. What happened?" When said with a friendly tone, you may get
this answer, "Sorry, hon, I got a phone call from work and had to get in
earlier than I thought for that meeting with the district manager. I can take
care of that now." Speak up and
clear up what's troubling you. And get a
whole lot more fun out of life.
